Pretty is a frame of mind. It’s not for the faint of heart. Its a long established fact that a woman is beautiful when she’s living her life to the fullest.

Don’t tell me I’m beautiful!

Too often I get messages from me saying they want to get to know be because I’m beautiful. Of course you want to get to know me if all your looking at is the beautiful body God gave me. But what have you done with your’s? How have you honored your gift that God has given you? Are you fat, looking shaggy? Are you loving and living life to it’s fullest.

Do you even know anything about me? Have you read any of my posts? Have you looked into my eyes and seen my soul? Do you only see my skin, hair, and the color of my eyes.  Do you only see that I’m a slim 115 pound, 5’5” woman who has a beautiful 40 year old woman with a great smile? Or can you see the depth of character I’ve forged through rising above challenges that threatened to kill me.  Do you see how I didn’t let this cruel world crush and destroy me? Do you see how I’ve been like a phoenix and risen from the ashes a thousand times and kept going? Do you see that I put my full faith and trust in god? Do you see that I’m ambitious and courageous? Do you see that sometimes I’m scared or unsure and don’t know what to do? Do you realize I come with 4 children who’ve had their lives torn apart multiple times and I won’t allow that to happen again?  Do you see my vulnerability as a single mom of 4 children who has an irrational, emotion driven father? Can you see that all I want in life is to trust a man to love me for the rest of my life? Can you see that I lose hope for that when you tell me I’m pretty and that’s why you want to get to know me? Do you realize that when you send me indecent exposure pictures, that I feel afraid that you will harm me, my daughters and sons with your poor excuse for a man.  It doesn’t matter how much money you have, how many awards or degrees you’ve earned.  It doesn’t matter how big your muscles are or aren’t or how wise you think you are. I’m still going to be afraid of you if you’re interested in dating me because of my looks.  It makes me angry when I think that you want a pretty face to hang on your trophy stand.  It makes me angry when a man doesn’t take the time to get to know my heart and mind before he decides he wants to be intimate with me.  It makes me feel like you’re an animal.  Driven by your sexual desires and impulses.  Men! That is not a safe, nurturing, loving environment for a woman.  If you cannot control your impulses and desires, you are not a safe man for a husband or father.  If you are controlled by emotion, you will sway to every hormone that fills your brain.  Learn to control your impulses and desires. “put off the natural man”. The kind of man I will date is the kind of man who will be my best friend before he decides to kiss and cuddle with me.  The man I date will be the man who is selfless and kind, who controls his bodily appetites and passions.  When I say something stupid, he won’t mock, criticize, get angry, yell, stonewall, ignore, or not forgive the trespass.  He will calm sincerity, he’ll tell me how it made him feel, and our bond of trust will be forged.

Imperfection is beauty. Madness is genius; and it’s better to be absolutely ridiculous that absolutely boring. ~ Marilyn Monroe 

He will never send me pictures of his private parts, ever.  And he won’t try to engage me in a sexual conversation without the proper commitment pattern called marriage.

Where has decent respect, kindness, gentlemanliness and gratitude gone? Why would I ever want to seriously date a man who’s primary goal in our relationship is to get me in bed?

Why would I ever trust that he would be a proper role model for my sons and daughters. Why would I even trust him to be like a dad to my children when he cannot control himself.  Why would I trust that he would be faithful to me come rain or shine.  There are boys and there are men. Unfortunately, these boys grew up before they learned to no run around with their dicks telling them how to act with the ladies.  Unfortunately, there are a lot of boys out there who think sex, anger, food, and work are ways to numb the pain.  And it